seraphic :)

2004-03-28T23:30:00.000+08:00

2004-03-25T23:30:00.000+08:00

i miss you. sigh :(

2004-03-23T16:43:00.000+08:00

lethargic :( just woke up from my one hour nap. hah. went home early today! or rather, there wasn't anything on after school :) hms, my mom went to hongkong this afternoon already. yep. will be back in 3 days i think. happy traveling! haa :)

alright, gonna start on my work real soon? home since 245pm and until now i'm still in school uniform and my homework's undone. blehs, still gotta study for history test tomorrow and chinese spelling too. blahs. sian.

6 chapters of chinese spelling :|
source based test on chapter 9 :|

halfway to the weekends! okay, that might lighten up the mood abit. haa. okay, toods.

2004-03-21T22:48:00.000+08:00

it's sunday already! that means school's starting tomorrow. *sigh* time to get up and face reality, after a one week break in illusions ehs? this world is cold, and cruel. haha! oh well. pardon me! :)

haven't been updating properly. hms, having thoughts of deleting seraphical, and maybe go on a long hiatus; i think i need a break from the cyber world. or maybe open up sweet escape again, and blog there. i don't know. hahas :) or maybe keep a self-written diary! that's so nice! but i'm not sure if i have the patience. hee :) but i'm keen on trying out :)

hm, okay. my last proper update was on thursday? anyway, went to watch My Girl at tiong bahru plaza with baby that evening. quite a nice show i would say. hee :) funny and sweet. haha, that's what puppy love's all about i guess! go watch man! the boy and the girl so cute! hahas. then went to eat dinner at macs, had fillet with dippers. yups. and then baby sent me home. yah, that's all for thursday i think.

had school on friday as usual. lessons ended at 4pm sharp. sort of understood mole concept better, like i've said, mrs yong is a good teacher! hee :) then rushed home, and prepared for the concert at vch later in the evening. yep, i missed the chance to see baby that day, cus of the concert! :x haha, oh well never mind. the vocal consort turned out good! yeehaww :P reached home around 11pm, bathed and plopped to bed around 2+ in the morning.

was supposed to go for the one day choir camp at school on saturday, but woke up with a fucking headache, so i just stayed home and decayed. haha. didn't meet baby that day, he got 'grounded' LMAO! funny lah. haa. okays. i've been moodswinging extremes these day, and i'm really sorry baby :( i think i've lost control of my own emotions sometimes. geees.

finally sunday! which's today! tada~ woke up around 10 in the morning. bathed, ate breakfast and prepared! went down to find baby. hee :) missed him loads alright. spent some time with him ba, had a misunderstanding over a sms ba. haa :| okay, you know, jealousy yeah? :| refused to tell him anything. haha, he looked like he's gonna cry. oh bleh. anyway, we're okay lers. hahas. left around 5pm. yepps. reached home and slacked. haven't really completed any of my work yet, gonna get blasted tomorrow. oh well, i'm kinda reluctant to go back to school. siigh.

school = homework + tests = long hours + cca = little rest time = no seeing of baby till the weekends = or even maybe too busy to find time for baby = moodswings = sad = :(

hmms, 3rd monthsary coming! hee :) 9 more days! lalala. thought of a gift lers :) hopefully it'll work out ba! love him truckloads. okay, mushy. haha enough.

think i'm gonna go pack my stuffs ba. baby's busy with his assignments. haas, i miss him. yepp, good night world. and happy school time tomorrow hopefully.

2004-03-20T22:37:00.000+08:00

i think i'm gonna delete seraphical :)

2004-03-20T16:04:00.000+08:00

there seems to be something that's drilling into my skull inside my head. my head's been hurting since i woke up this morning while trying to prepare for the choir camp. damn it. arghs.

and now he's feeling so down, i've to go against him; like what everyone's doing now.

ahhhhs, i'm not a good girlfriend, sorry.

2004-03-18T14:40:00.000+08:00

sian. history lesson ended at 0930am, and i reached home at 1045am. yep, then i slept from 1100am all the way to 0200pm. hur. waiting for his message, but apparently, the damn thing isn't beeping.

so now, i'm unsure if we're still going out later. not watching the eye i guess. maybe my girl. but now i don't even know if we're going out or not. arghs. smsed him but no reply. haa :| how nice! alright, maybe it's too noisy over @ taka that he can't hear the sms beeeeeep.

i hate to feel this way. sigh.

and all of times, my bolster is being washed today. okay, i gave my maid the permission to wash it after 7654321 years of not getting washed. when i feel like crying, i wanna hug my bolster, but it isn't there anymore. sigh.

2004-03-17T21:39:00.000+08:00

just came back home, yep i know it's late. i'm tired too! lessons ended at 130pm! no english today, due to the heats. was supposed to meet dear after lessons, but i thought he joking only, so i went to town with dingling and geraldine instead. hurrs x) halfway i went off lah, cus he wasn't joking. hahaha. yups.

hehe, seen him for 4 consecutive days ler! hee :) yepp, so i went over to his house in the afternoon. haha his dogs so cute! but i was quite scared yep :| i got bitten by a dog before lor! then before i left, i played with the dog. haha, so cute! so nice to touch :) hees.

met my mom and sister at westmall around 730pm. waited for quite long lah. then bought my sister to change her hp. now she has a brand new sony ericson t610 with the super nice plan -.-;;; she wanted x430, but out of stock. muahaha :)

sian, so tired! probably meeting dear tomorrow again. haha :) but he has lessons in the morning, and have to go collect his jersey in the afternoon. maybe meeting after that ba, gonna go watch the eye 2! hahaha. exciting!! :)

301203.

2004-03-16T19:33:00.000+08:00

hehe, reached home not very long ago. yep, hee :)

had lessons today. yups, was late for history. cus' i thought it was at 0800 am :| but it was at 0730 am instead. haha. oh well. then history ended at 0930 am and we went for english at 1000 am till 1130 am. had a long break from 1130 am to 0230 pm. haha, went to sumoya for lunch :) then walked around and went back to class, before it started raining.

had the composition test at 0230 pm until 0330 pm. yeps. then dear came to fetch me! :) hee~ 3 days of him, mmm :) then i was walking quite fast ma, cus' i scared later start raining again, and i walked the other route to the mrt station instead of the one that passes by the coffeeshop, then he said ''scared your friends see ah?'' i was like hell no! but i mean it mah, i always walk the other route de what -.-||| hmpffs. haa :|

lalala, saw noraini on the train at clementi! :) hahaha, took a lot of pictures with my n7250 arhhs, even though the resolution sucks, it was funnnn. hee, i've pictures of dear now! yays :) muacks =P went for dinner with him at the coffeeshop opposite my house, then walked him to the place we always part. time to go home :( i miss him ler. hopefully he knows how to take care of himself, ah pig.

i love you.

2004-03-15T22:41:00.000+08:00

heh, i just typed a fucking long entry and it disappeared after i pressed something by accident :) how nice!

okay, let's cut the crap!

i'm just feeling fucking depressed, maybe a little disappointed. sigh. it hurts you, and it hurts me too. probably double what you're feeling.

sigh, it fucking hurts :(

2004-03-15T12:06:00.000+08:00

hms, woke up around 1 hour ago. yups, just had breakfast + lunch :) gonna bathe soon ba, though it isn't good to bathe after a meal. but i want to see dear soon ah! haha, the earlier i go, the earlier i can see him right! going to sengkang library with him ah, near his house. stupid boy. haa :| yepp. okay, laters :)

Heart of Gold

What is Your Heart REALLY Made of?
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2004-03-14T14:38:00.000+08:00

11:37 PM {added} haha, just reached home half an hour ago. yep. quite a bad day out lah. 'quarrelled' in a sense. yep. quite serious ba :| bleh, ended up crying like siao. hahaha -.-||| but everything's okay now. i guess so. hurrrrs. all because of the stupid neoprint thing. was suppose to take neoprint after watching the cat in the hat de! but me, being the usual stubborn me decided to be stubborn. bleh, haaa :| oh well. never mind.

my sister say she changing phone lor! to samsung x430! damn it man! geraldine also just changed to that model recently. grrrrrs. i also want new phone :| but i shall make good my words. i promised my mom i won't change to another phone so soon when i upgraded my n8310 to n7250. hurrs. never mind! i shall bear with it till o levels is over, then i'll trade for a better phone. heee, even though the price of n7250 will drop like siao by then. BABY WANTS TO CHANGE TO SAMSUNG x430!!! good loh, all gek me! hmpppphs.

but i'm determined to stick to my n7250!

hm, may be meeting him tomorrow. okay, i think i'll do something productive now, since i'm bloated. *burrrrps* byebye! {/added}

bored! :| waiting for baby to reach. haha, getting a little sleepy already! but i think he'll be here soon ba? i still haven't settled on where to go. hms :| causeway point or bugis neh? both of us don't wanna step into town. *shrugs* oh well, later then say :x hehehe.

sian. last day of weekends. tomorrow's the last day for a break, and there's school again! yawn. tuesday to fridays :| almost everyday is a 730am to 400pm routine. maybe thursday isn't. but there's choir practise. hm, i don't know. maybe i'll skip it?

laters.

2004-03-13T10:21:00.000+08:00

11:50 PM {added} diao, i hate my sister lor. everytime spoil my things :| damn it. i don't mind her using my things, but hello! take good care of them! grrrrs. my discman's already a little screwed up. damn it. she's always the one using the discman instead of me, and obviously when the discman's a little haywire, first person i'll think of is her! and now she has to erase my precious rewritable cd with all my precious precious songs, without asking me! :( hmph, forget it! when i get a new discman, i'll never let her use it. arghs :|

the library trip was quite okay lah, finished all the questions for rates of change in the tys :) haha, but i took quite long. yups. gonna do the sums on maxima and minima tomorrow before going out with baby :) probably gonna go watch the cat in the hat! haha, and take neoprints! yay :) hm, the neoprints part, maybe i guess. but i haven't settled on where to go... haha, *shrugs* ming tian zai shuo ba.

i can't wait to seeeeeeee my baby :( good night world. i promised him to sleep early. goodnight! {/added}

hm, woke up about half an hour ago! haha, morning! not meeting baby today, he's having flag day, and it ends at 5pm. hehe. okay. meeting him tomorrow instead, i guess. i miss him :(

have to make a trip down to school later just to hand in my chinese workbook. haha, then i'm going to woodlands library with gita after that. i still haven't settle on what work to bring later on. hms, i don't know. haha, ah, later then decide!

have to get batteries for my discman later! hm, he's in school now. haha :| i miss you. sian, i wanna sleep! i am bored! :(

britney spears - shadow! damn damn damn nice, depressing though. haha :)

hm, i am really bored leh. damn it, hahaha :| i hope i don't start moodswinging. oh nooo :( no no no no no no no no!

zhang shao han - yu yan! okay, nice :) but i still miss him, so badly!!! blah blah. i want to seeeee him :( okay love sick :| LMAO.

damn, i miss you :( sigh, alright. gonna go bathe now. byebye :(

2004-03-12T16:58:00.000+08:00

it's the last day of the term! yep, literally it is. i still have to go back to school almost everyday for lessons though. well never mind, i gotta work doubly hard towards my <16 points!

school was quite alright today, didn't get back our progress report though. we'll only get them when school reopens. checked my marks already, bad bad bad! let's see, umms.

english - 51.0
higher chinese - 68.2
combined humanities - 34.0
combined science (physics/chemistry) - 62.8
biology - 44.0
elementary mathematics - 78.0
additional mathematics - 81.0

quite horrible right? my class position was 15 out of 44. but it isn't that accurate lah, cus those who failed english are all ranked behind. i passed my english by 1 mark. hurs. but mrs chua says she has hope in all of us. haha, she said we'll jump at least 4 grades for o levels. weee. hopefully :) aiming for a B3, but it isn't a bad thing to get a distinction for english :P hahaha.

haven't been paying much attention in class recently, especially during maths lessons. hur, i'm dead. haha :| alright, gotta constantly remind myself to stay focus i guess? finally a saturday free! but i gotta go back to school to hand in my chinese workbook. yep. then maybe go out with gita to study, or go to my 4th aunt's house with my cousins. i'm not too sure.

hm, i miss my baby. haha :)

2004-03-11T19:47:00.000+08:00

11:44 PM {added;} before i head for bed, hee! :) we're okay lers. i miss him so much and love him even more. eileen's a happy girl now :) yup. i love my baby boy, so much. can't wait to see him, on sunday? i guess so. good night world :) {/added}

today's weather was a little chilly, yup. wasn't a bad day afterall, except for the quarrel last night. feeling a little depressed... i don't know but i know maybe i'm expecting too much from him. you know what? i'm really sorry.

he made loving him easy for me, but i made loving me so hard for him.

i know quarrels are usual between couples, but, doesn't it strain the relationship to a certain extent? it kind of hurts, and sometimes really badly. and many many times, i regret saying what i've said. i wish i could turn back time, and think properly before i speak, or even start to moodswing. but hey, it's impossible, yah?

he's probably the perfect guy for me, compared to all my other ex boyfriends. i know it isn't fair to compare them together, cus' they are so so so different. but i mean it, he's the best guy i've ever met. the only guy who made me felt so special. you know? how do you think i'd be able to face the blow if i ever have to lose him one day? and just yesterday... he mentioned the two words; break up. erh, nah he didn't initiate one, he said 'so now you want a breakup?' my heart sank.

no. i don't want a breakup. this is one truthful answer from the bottom of my heart. i swear. i don't want to lose him, never. i love him, with all my heart and soul. i'm sorry for everything i've ever done to hurt him, every single thing. i guess, no matter how many sorry(s) i say, wouldn't heal the 'wounds' i've caused in him, right?

he's already so busy, and tries his best to find time for me, give in to me. you can say he's always the one giving in to me. i may have started to take that for granted. now i realise. and i'm not gonna take him for granted. i'll try my very best to give in to him at times, instead of him giving in to me all the time. like i said, he's already so busy with schoolwork, friends/family and basketball? yet i've to get fucked up moodswings. i admit, sometimes i bottle things up because i don't want to trouble him, but, sometimes i really want to confide in him. yet i'm afraid of giving him trouble/pressure? a little contradicting.

i'm not good enough for him, am i? every single 'fights' we've mean something to me. i know i may get a little oversensitive at times, but. i can't help it. i was feeling very neglected sometime ago. and i asked for a little more attention from him, but i guess i said the wrong things and screwed things up.

baby you know something? i'm sorry. i know it doesn't help, but i'm sorry. if letting you go makes you feel better/happier, then i'd be more than glad to let you go. but if i let you go, it doesn't mean that i don't love you anymore. it's because, i love you more than i've ever done before.

can we start all over again? i need you, i really do :( i come in a package, full of flaws, you accepted me for who i am once, but now, i'm not too sure if you still do, after all that i've done.

i'm truly, sorry.

2004-03-10T11:23:00.000+08:00

skipped school today! yep. ate my breakfast while talking to baby on msn :) hee, surprised to see him online. he's in school :) i miss my boy. haha, and he went to read sweet-escape aye. well, i don't know how he found it. doesn't really matter. ohh, told him the new url, which is seraphical :)

hopefully i won't miss out too much from school. gonna finish up my amaths tys on rates of change later. have to hand them in by tomorrow. it's a long day tomorrow. hm well, checked my biology marks on ask&learn just now. failed my overall even though i passed my second test. oh well, i passed by half a mark. not enough to cover up for my badly failed first test. haha. passed my second test for physics by two and a half marks. not enough to cover for the badly failed first test too :|

yep, was on the phone with dear last night :) hee. did i mention that he has a nice nice voice? i love! haha :) the conversation was okay. yep. could have been better! love him so much okay!

it's gonna be the march holidays soon, the term break. i still have to go back to school almost everyday still. except for monday. lessons range from 730-930 in the morning, or 200-400 in the afternoon. sounds a little more horrid than normal school days. haha. going for the choir one day camp on the 20th, and also mr reuben lai's concert at vch on the 19th.

my cramps aren't that bad now, just feeling this 'numbness' at my tummy area. kinda bored eh. my mouse's a little insane. hm, i need a new mouse! alright, guess i'll surf around friendster for a little while and get started on work.

baby, i miss you.

2004-03-09T21:48:00.000+08:00

yayness, new blog :) i don't know if i should really shift or not though. well anyway, it doesn't matter!

school was fine! :) my period came yesterday. suffered fucking cramps :| almost killed me! so i slept in class during physics, while the whole class went to the lab for lesson. yup. contemplated about the social studies workshop; to attend the workshop or go straight home. but i went for the workshop anyway! haha, no regrets :) hopefully i'll make full use of what i've learnt!

i miss my baby boy :( haven't seen him for 2 days! sigh. been feeling rather moody these days, i don't know why. and we had a 'fight' just last weekend, i don't know if it has affected our relationship. of course i hope it hasn't. however, it doesn't feel the same :( probaby gonna talk to him over the phone later on, i don't know how it'll turn out to be, hopefully good :) haven't been talking to him on the phone actually. i think so.

chatting with yaowen on msn now! haha :) talking about o levels bah. i hope i don't screw up my papers. aiming <16 for L1R5 :| still unsure of my path after o levels. hahaha. jc or poly? anyone?

blah blah, alright. off to the phone with him :)